Being resilient gives you the ability to push through and keep going. Resilience is about bouncing back from setbacks and failures and along with Confidence creates the definition of mental toughness, according to the MTQ48 definition.
But, HOW do you become resilient and respond in a way that enables you to bounce back quickly? Here are five simple steps:
1. Accept responsibility …. and the consequences
It takes courage to accept responsibility for a setback or failure, especially if you are feeling hard done by or let down by others. Whatever the causes, by accepting responsibility for the failure and the reality of the consequences that could come your way, you are making an important first step towards bouncing back. Through acceptance you have some certainty to work with and hopefully no prolonged emotion to battle with. It is what it is and you need to get on and deal with it.
2. Don’t get mad at yourself or others …. just get even
In coming to terms with your setback and associated consequences it is important not to tear yourself, or others, apart in the process. Failure is an inevitable and indeed a desirable feature of life and if you demand perfection of yourself and others, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. As much as you can, keep the emotion out of the situation by staying objective and (see next point) taking any learning’s from the situation.
3. You win some, you learn some
As the saying goes, you win even if you lose, so long as you can learn from the setback or failure. What went wrong and why? How would you change things next time around to ensure that you are successful? Reflecting on your experience, learning from your mistakes and adapting accordingly is a key component of the Mental Toughness MTQ48 4C’s framework in the C of Challenge scale -“Learning from Everything”. It is learning to flip the experience from inherently dark and negative to realistically bright and positive. It doesn’t change that you failed but it gives you a base line from which to rebound and rebuild.
4. Don’t give up
Sometimes it feels easier to cope with a failure by accepting that you weren’t good enough or it wasn’t meant to be and emotionally packing the experience away in the deepest pocket of your mind, never again to see the light of day.
If, after a serious reflection, you feel that giving up is the right thing to do, then you should learn what you can and pack it away. However for most people, most of the time with some adaptation, they should keep going with redoubled determination to make it work. There are so many examples in our own everyday lives when persistence is the essential characteristic in a situation.
Don’t give up or as Winston Churchill famously said
“If you’re going through hell, keep going”
5. Get moving again and make things happen
My late mother always said “get back on the horse” which was her way of saying “don’t wallow in self-pity, just get on with it again and this time make it work.”
Obsessing over your setback or failure won’t change it. Nor will procrastinating over your next move make it better. The only way you can positively change the future is to get moving again by setting your goals and making them happen. This goal and delivery orientation is the essence of the Mental Toughness MTQ48 4C’s framework in the C of Commitment scale.
Being resilient is an essential characteristic in being happy and successful in life. Understanding that setbacks and failures are inevitable and that it is not what happens to you that defines you but how well you respond and bounce back.
Mental Toughness combines Resilience and Confidence and is the attribute of everyday champions.
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