I’m a habitual apologiser for things I have done wrong and also for things I haven’t. Either way for me, it’s an attempt to get back on a level with a person and to move things forward. However “I’m sorry” easily becomes a habit and the default phrase to use in any situation that may approximately warrant an apology, or even those that don’t.
Once in the routine it is hard to escape using the phrase but it can become damaging to one’s self-esteem and also often gives the other person the often false impression that they have the upper hand. This generally doesn’t work out well.
I was therefore very interested to read an article by Kat Boogaard from The Muse, reproduced in Fast Company where she discussed using a “circuit breaker” phrase when temped to say ‘I’m sorry’.
She instead uses “thank you” which is an altogether stronger and more positive and upbeat way to stop apologising and “getting on the level” than ‘I’m sorry’ and implies gratitude not guilt.
She gives an example of running late for a coffee meeting with a networking acquaintance and resisted the urge to apologise profusely by instead thanking them for waiting.
To learn more on developing mental toughness and how to stop apologising contact us.