How Do We Close The Confidence Gap Between Men and Women?
The MTQ48 Mental Toughness framework comprises the 4C’s of Control, Commitment, Challenge and Confidence. Whilst mental toughness as a personality trait is gender neutral, in our studies in Australia women are stronger on Control and Commitment and men are stronger on Challenge and Confidence. I still find the gap in confidence levels between men and women bewildering and so was interested to read this recent article by Margie Warrell from Forbes magazine which also detailed some striking global research by Wiebke Bleidorn from the University of California.
For Women To Rise We Must Close ‘The Confidence Gap’
Four years ago I moved from the U.S. to Australia and began from ground zero building my business. Having spent the previous decade coaching female executives, I was curious to see how the cultural differences between countries played out for women in the workplace.
Since then numerous people have asked me about the differences business women face in Australia versus America. While it’s my observation that misogyny is more prevalent in Australia and there is a greater appetite for risk and tolerance of failure in the U.S., over all I’ve seen women wrestle with the same lack of confidence in both countries. In fact, wherever I’ve worked in the world, I’ve consistently that a fundamental lack of belief in our own value, worth and ability to achieve consistently tempers female ambition and holds women back.
Until now though, I’ve never seen any research to back up my own anecdotal experience. However, a recent study by Wiebke Bleidorn, Ph.D., from the University of California, reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, has found that the disparity in belief between men and women isn’t just in the U.S. or Australia, it’s universal.
The eight-year study by Bleidorn her co-researchers analyzed data from over 985,000 men and women across 48 countries, from Norway to New Zealand, Kuwait to South Korea, asking them to rate the phrase: “I see myself as someone who has high self-esteem study found that across the board – regardless of culture or country, men have higher self-esteem than women.”
“We were really surprised by the remarkable degree of similarity across cultures,” said Bleidorn
“In nearly all cultures, men have higher self-esteem. But the difference lies in the magnitude of the gap.” In industrialized Western countries like the U.S. and Australia the gap is more pronounced than in non-Western, developing countries. That is, the gap between how little women think of themselves compared to how highly men do grows in the more developed, egalitarian, countries – the very ones one might expect it to be the least.
While the scope of Bleidorn’s research didn’t include finding the answers to this finding, she had some theories. Firstly, that part of the universal confidence gap may be explained by our biology. That is, we’re simply hardwired differently. “Most personality traits have a genetic basis, so there’s reason to assume it might be at least partly genetically driven,” Bleidorn said. “But you don’t measure people’s physiology to get their self-esteem — you just ask them. So we don’t know.”
Perhaps more interesting to me was Bleidorn’s theory on why the confidence of women in Western societies lags so far behind that of men. “I can speculate that in Western societies, women are more likely to compare themselves to men. Men tend to have higher-status positions and higher salaries, for example, so the comparison is less favorable for women.” That is, women fortunate enough to be born in egalitarian cultures fall victim of their own negative comparisons with the men around them who, despite the advances women have over the last century, still hold positions of greater power and status and earn more money. (The World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report found that women in the U.S. earn approximately two-thirds of what men do for similar work.)
Interestingly, in Asian countries, women are less likely to compare themselves to men but rather to other women. So they are less likely to feel they are coming up short relative to other women since other women aren’t, on average, holding the balance of power.
It begs the question: Could it be that living in a more egalitarian society, where we are competing on a more equal playing field, is actually working against women in terms of our self-esteem. It seems so.
“On average, women still don’t have as much power as men, and yet they have access to these positions and opportunities,” Bleidorn says, referring to the fact that while America has numerous high profile women in leadership, female CEO’s still make up only 4.2% of S&P 500 CEO’s. Women don’t fare any better in Australia where a recent study cited in Women’s Agenda found that there are more men called Peter (6.5%) leading ASX 200 companies than all women (5.75%).
So how does a lack of self-esteem, often simply referred to as “self-confidence” play out? Given confidence is defined as our belief in our ability to succeed at a given task, a lack of it drives risk aversion and makes people less willing to pursue new challenges. Safer to stick with the status quo. Judith Beck, an executive recruiter in the financial services industry and CEO of Financial Executive Women (FEW), told me how she feels women are more cautious in their careers compared to men, whether in the jobs they are in or in considering new roles within or outside their current employer. “Women are less likely to take a risk on their career. Over time they end up missing out on opportunities.” (You can watch our conversation for RawCourage.TV above.)
As pointed out in The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman seems that an important piece of the puzzle in bridging the gender gap is addressing the gender confidence gap. While having more confident women won’t eliminate the unconscious bias or stop more self-assured outspoken women being called bossy or bitchy (where men are simply labeled assertive). However, it will empower more women to call out bias when they see it, put themselves forward and take more risks that men do. This will see more women moving up the ladder which, in turn, will provide the more much needed role models, mentors, sponsors and inspiration for women following below.
Solving the gender gap is a complex multi-faced issue requiring an equally multi-faceted approach. However one piece of the puzzle requires emboldening women to back themselves more and doubt themselves less. Having wrestled with my own share of self-doubt, I know there is no quick fix or magic bullet for building self-confidence or permanently eradicating self-doubt in women. Yet after working with thousands of women across diverse professions and cultural background, I’ve learned that nothing builds confidence in any arena more than stepping right into the middle of it…palms sweating, stomach knotted, beside the guys …despite the chorus of doubts urging you to play it safe in the stands. As I wrote in Brave, “Too often women overestimate the risks and underestimate themselves. Only by doing the very things we’re afraid of can we come to realize how little reason we ever had to fear. The only way to build confidence and courage is by acting with it.”
Certainly deciding to wait until we feel brave and confident and possessing a Clinton sized self-esteem may lead to be a very, very, long wait. To quote Sheryl Sandberg, “Fortune does favor the bold and you’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t try.”
Men make great leaders. But so too do women. And the world needs the full quota of what women have to bring because, as study after study has also found, when more women sit at the decision making tables, better decisions are made leaving everyone better off. A rising tide lifts all
To learn more on coaching female executives and building confidence contact Mental Toughness Partners.